Saturday, April 2, 2011

Classmate Response: Week of 3/28/11

Katie Evans: Cindermanly


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This was a fun poem. I appreciated the irony of using a fairy tale perhaps best known for its themes of abuse and poor-made-rich to express the point of view of a man "enslaved" by his wife. (This is random, but it made me think of a common Japanese joke. The word for "husband" is "shujin." Lengthen the "u" sound to "shuujin," and you have the Japanese word for "prisoner.") I loved the cute way you used images from the fairy tale that we're familiar with (the Disney version, certainly) and how you included various phrases that added extra dimensions. "All I want is a night out with the boys" made me think of that song by KISS, which might or might not have been intentional but it adds this great macho layer to what he's longing for. I thought you captured his voice very clearly at times: "When did I become Cinderella?" and "Do all my chores, but don't tell my wife." Other times, the voice felt a little more general, "A land where a man can be a man / a place where I belong." I think you could take this voice even deeper to paint a picture of a very specific man with a very specific wife. "No singing critters" sounds like a very Southern dialect talking, so perhaps you could use that as a springboard to expand on his personality. Also, maybe you can work some of the irony into him addressing his "fairy godmother," which, given that this is a macho guy wanting to do "manly" things, is somewhat ironic given how he's likely to view someone he addresses as "fairy." Great job!


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