Reading Responses: Week of 2/14/11

Writing Poetry

Chapter 9: Voice

This chapter felt like it was written to answer the biggest problem I keep having with my poetry. I think I end up too concerned with the because that I end up avoiding it to a fault, to where the meaning becomes so ambiguous that the story and voice of the poem is lost. Part of the problem might be that I'm too concerned with what we discussed very early in class: defamiliarization. Between trying to find new ways to describe familiar things and naturally more attracted to understatement than to broad expression in storytelling, I think I fell headlong into the trap of being too vague and formless. This chapter was a good illustration of why a failure of clarity has so much negative impact, as well as how to weave the meaning into the poem without spelling it out. I particularly liked the illustration of because as a set-up question in the title or premise, that the bulk of the poem itself provides an answer to, in context. I need to try to work that into my writing a little. Even something like a title can help put the poem into context.

Writing Poetry

Chapter 10: Style

The part of this chapter which most impacted me goes hand-in-hand with Chapter 9, continuing its illustration of the delicate balance of becausing. The statement (which seems like an automatic truth once it's said but I wouldn't have thought to phrase it that way initially) that irony is dialogical meant more to me than anything else in the chapter. It helps me put into concrete context the statements made in Chapter 9, that unless there is a dialogue that the reader actively participates in, at least to anticipate where the poem is going rather than to have it spelled out, the impact of the poem will be that of a monologue over the telephone rather than two voices being reactive to one another. This helps me rein in the over-the-top defamiliarization, to be reminded that the reader should be given the benefit of the doubt to be intelligent enough to get it but that I have to express the poem so that it doesn't become a private joke that gets crickets in response but that an adequate amount of information is being shared so that both participants "get" it.

Random Freewrite 1: Week of 2/7/11

The laundry thumps. Almost done.

I remember this, the litany of decontamination.

My voice never raised but your heart would faint.

I remember our most romantic evenings

spent in sterile hospital cells of your vacillating puberty.

The buzzer’ll ring soon. Not soon enough.

Cleaning feels maternal somehow,

cold-pressed onto me like prehistoric fossils of mistake.

Some men hug not to hold but to burrow into muscle

like ticks bloated on strength.

They say things change to remain the same.

I’ve got towels to fold yet, and a bed to make.

When the laundry's done, I'll be good to go,

as well rid of you as of static hell clingwrap sheets.

(The first line was all I got done in the classroom prompt. Then I spoke with Professor Edwards after and took her fantastic line "prehistoric fossil of mistake" and tried to wrap my feelings about this breakup into something that felt a part of outdated gender roles to me. He based his proposal on the fact that I cleaned his house for him once, from top to bottom. So that's where this came from. There's probably more I could go into; I need to work on expanding and then stripping down.)

Reading Response 2: Week of 2/7/11

Writing Poetry
"Subject"


This was probably the chapter that prompted the most from me, not necessarily in terms of prolific output but in thought and reconsideration of my writing process. I was struck by all three of the methods described, and feel compelled to try them. The juggling method, in particular, seemed that it might be helpful to me in providing context for some of the poetry I've already written for class. I think a lot of my poetry lacks a clear "voice" and some sense of context, which obscures the story and meaning of the poems. I need to work on that, and I think this chapter is going to help me a great deal. I tried some juggling with the breakup poem for class, and I'm not satisfied with the result, but I know I can go back and work on it again and again to get it just right. Perhaps another one of the methods will work better. The beauty of writing poetry, as they keep stressing and as I keep learning, is that nothing is a "finished product." I don't have to worry about getting it exactly right, because putting a period on it would be making it sterile and obsolete. Poems have to be dynamic and fluid. I think I'm finally getting that.

Reading Response 1: Week of 2/7/11

Word of Mouth
Russell Edson
"The Fall"


I loved each and every one of his poems so much so that I've been compelled to buy a book of his poetry. (It looks amazing!) What I love about his work (particularly "The Fall") is the simplicity of phrasing. There is so much wit and irony delivered in such an understated way, not belaboring the point he's trying to make (a trap I fall into with my prose freewrites) but delivering the punch gracefully, even affectionately. I love, also, that he's not just about the "punchline" (as Professor Ellison and I discussed on Thursday, when I asked where was the critical place to have the theme clarified: the setup at the beginning or the closure at the end). Edson's work can be read over and over with only richer enjoyment and appreciation. He's almost an understated poet version of Tim Burton's general vibe.

Classmate Response: Week of 2/7/11

Angela Lewis: Random Impulse

Throw your body against the machine

Disempowerment and voicelessness
what does that even mean?
make it stop
The man he yaks
half honest lies
maniac
Get on top of the man and stop him in his tracks
Yelling and fussing
attempts made mute by Smartassery
Put some ass into it
Halfassery
We're all bored and oversexed
So we play with puppets
Tugging on twine
What happens when you throw the puppet into the machine
We're all just a bunch of monkeys
Monkey wrenched
Wrench off with brute force i beg you
Throw your body against the machine


==========


I really love the flow of sound in this poem, how the words are crafted to beat against each other in a stutter-start, rhythmic way. I particularly enjoyed the lines "The man he yaks / half honest lies" and "So we play with puppets / Tugging on twine." There's a lot of musicality to this poem, which I feel pushes a sense of urgency through the content and gives it a lot of power. Very well done! If I could critique anything, I would suggest maybe spacing apart the three uses of the word "ass" or even taking out two of them, so the one "ass" that remains has more weight and punches at the reader a bit more.

Junkyard Quotes: Week of 2/7/11

(Everything is hopelessly late this week...)

1) “If cats looked like frogs, we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are.”

-Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

I happened across this on Thursday, and now I need this poem about cats who look like frogs.

2) “Interestingly enough, in [Elizabethan] times, many young men posed as ‘melancholy’ which translated to sad, troubled, fond of wearing black, and artistic. Making this trope Older Than Steam.”

-TVTropes, on the subject of Emo

I totally agree, but I think the Greeks also have to be considered, and I think Homer has the Elizabethans beat when it comes to the melodramatic nature of characterization. The Iliad and The Odyssey are protagonist whinefests wrapped up in extraordinarily textured backdrop of war and adventure. I love them both, but I love The Iliad a little bit more. (I’m bored by the two main protagonists, though. Diomedes is where it’s at.) 

3) “Enter into every man’s ruling faculty; and also let every other man enter into yours.”

-Marcus Aurelius

It’s the simplest thing: “Be open.” But I find it so hard in practice when it comes to my writing. I thought the hardest part was actually sharing it physically with others, but I’m finding it harder still to relax my writing itself. This happens to me on every level of writing. I’ve been trying to finish my book forever, but I keep self-editing and stopping the flow of the story dead in its tracks. I can’t seem to remember how to let the characters breathe freely. They do in my head, but by the time it gets on paper, they feel stilted and self-conscious.

4) “He’s like if Ziggy Stardust and Cyndi Lauper had a very magical, very gay baby with an unbelievable range and the ability to shoot glitter and cocaine and entire battalions of Pussycat Dolls out of his hoo-hah.”

-TWOP Jacob, on Adam Lambert

Read it on TWOP once upon a time, and I just love it. That’s all.

5) “I thought of this that water swallows and elation sighs

That pillows dream and autumn kills herself to feel revived”

-Chris Cornell, “Heart of Honey”

I’ve just about decided that I’m incapable of not going to Soundgarden every week for inspiration and to hope to find phrases that leap out at me. I expect the unexpected from them, which doesn’t make it unexpected but still doesn’t dilute the pleasant surprise of their phrasing. I love the imagery in these lines, and how he phrases it when he sings.