David Mathis: “Seagulls”
I simply loved the quiet loneliness of this piece. You didn’t burden it with too much detail. It was stark, like a black and white photograph, and just like black and white photography, it left me wanting to learn more about its subjects. The brilliance of it was that, even as I yearned for you to fill in the “colors” (so to speak), the very starkness of it allowed me to feel them freely. You didn’t force the direction of my mind, in other words, although the time and place and emotions of the piece were impeccably delivered. I was left feeling quite wistful for the narrator’s sake. My favorite line was: “It’s a silent observer now, no longer showing mighty ships the way and I wonder if it parallels my life with no direction.” That parallel was strikingly evocative, and I immediately understood how it felt to be in your narrator’s shoes. Just beautifully done. If I had any constructive criticism, it would be to trust the beauty of the quiet mood you’ve created and not to worry too much about adjectives or exposition. You have a wonderful ear for storytelling, and I can’t wait to get into our prose section to read more!
Hey, thanks for reviewing this for me. And I agree that my biggest weakness is that I sometimes get caught up in small, meaningless detail work. There are times when I feel like I accomplish much with so few words, and there are other times that I use so many words and yet, they are not needed. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I try to write happy things about the sea, but I find it impossible. Even when I am in a good mood. Anyway, thanks again!
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